My better half...

I have realised that I often refer to my darling wife in this column yet have not really said much about her, other than to refer to her as SWMBO (‘she who must be obeyed’, as used by Horace Rumpole).

Jackie is younger than me, much more attractive than I am – to both genders probably – and much more intelligent than I.

She’s a teacher; the head of maths at a prep school. And she’s one of those teachers who didn’t go into the profession because of the holiday entitlements.

She genuinely takes a pride in seeing the improvement in the youngsters, educationally and morally. The sort of teacher you’d want your kids to be taught by if you were paying for a private education … which is just as well.

She is also my very own Mrs Malaprop, which I find hugely entertaining and very endearing. One of my favourites recently was when she informed me that she had “drawn a line under the sand”, which while retaining its inference does present a difficult technical issue.

She also recently presented me with a book, Three Men in a Float, which is the tale of three guys travelling from Lowestoft to Lands End in a milk float.

“This is the kind of thing you like, isn’t it?” she said. “Like that guy travelling around Ireland in a fridge.”

Again, technically challenging but I knew she was referring to Tony Hawks’ Round Ireland with a Fridge, which is indeed a thoroughly entertaining read.

I’m very lucky to have her. She makes me laugh and love in equal measure. They do say that behind every great man there’s a great woman – well I’m living proof that there can be a great woman behind even a mediocre man.