It’s all too much.
Many years ago when I first booked a holiday with my then girlfriend, we sent off for some brochures, decided a place in Paignton looked OK, and went there for a week.
OK, we were above the hotel’s nightclub but you soon got used to listening to Haircut 100 and Modern Romance at 2am.
Nowadays, the information superhighway presents you with so many more options, so that when my wife and I look for a holiday in Turkey, there’s just too much to take in.
I now find myself looking at video reviews of the hotel and finding stuff to criticise: like the fence being a bit ‘POW Camp’ – what are they trying to keep out? Or the fact there only appears to be one slide into the pool which means the kids will be moaning about queueing.
And if there’s no video to view, pasting the name of the hotel into Tripadvisor.com throws up tales of woe about how the concierge turned into a werewolf every Friday night and regurgitated lobster to entertain the kids.
There’s just far too much choice and information.
I just want a nice peaceful hotel, with swimming pools and a nearby beach and some decent weather thrown in.
Is it too much to ask?
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
My time has come...
I really need to lose weight. To those of you who know me personally that won't come as too much of a shock to read.
Indeed my wife and kids have been on at me for ages to lose weight. The kids want me to play football with them and my wife thinks our petrol costs will go down.
My own moment of clarity came a few minutes ago when I viewed a website which featured one of many 'lose weight' adverts running currently.
This one featured 'before' and 'after' images of a guy's torso ... and I thought to myself that I'd be more than happy to have the 'before' body.
That is when you know the time is right ...
Indeed my wife and kids have been on at me for ages to lose weight. The kids want me to play football with them and my wife thinks our petrol costs will go down.
My own moment of clarity came a few minutes ago when I viewed a website which featured one of many 'lose weight' adverts running currently.
This one featured 'before' and 'after' images of a guy's torso ... and I thought to myself that I'd be more than happy to have the 'before' body.
That is when you know the time is right ...
Monday, January 11, 2010
Jacob and his quote of many colours
Pompey director Mark Jacob should have a new name. Perhaps he should be known as Joseph, for he has a quote of many colours.
Take this quote in The News: "At the Arsenal game, there were chants which left Ahmed Al Faraj (the brother of Ali Al Faraj) - who watched the game on the internet - most upset. Mr Al Faraj feels supporters do not see - or haven't been told perhaps - what has happened since October and it was like a pressure cooker that had suddenly exploded. Then there was the protest after the Coventry game.
"Quite clearly that is the supporters' prerogative, but I was most upset and disappointed. I sincerely hope that does not happen again given the strides this club has achieved over the last few months."
Supporters often feel quite differently of course. Take this quote from a protest about the board at White Hart Lane a few years back.
“We feel we are justified in expressing these opinions and if a public apology is not given we call upon every Tottenham supporter to continue to support the team - but not the board.
"The TAG (Tottenham Action Group) have started a petition calling for [Sir Alan] Sugar to either back manager George Graham with cash for top quality signings, or quit the club.”
The angry fan? Some bloke called Mark Jacob. He's a lawyer you know...
Take this quote in The News: "At the Arsenal game, there were chants which left Ahmed Al Faraj (the brother of Ali Al Faraj) - who watched the game on the internet - most upset. Mr Al Faraj feels supporters do not see - or haven't been told perhaps - what has happened since October and it was like a pressure cooker that had suddenly exploded. Then there was the protest after the Coventry game.
"Quite clearly that is the supporters' prerogative, but I was most upset and disappointed. I sincerely hope that does not happen again given the strides this club has achieved over the last few months."
Supporters often feel quite differently of course. Take this quote from a protest about the board at White Hart Lane a few years back.
“We feel we are justified in expressing these opinions and if a public apology is not given we call upon every Tottenham supporter to continue to support the team - but not the board.
"The TAG (Tottenham Action Group) have started a petition calling for [Sir Alan] Sugar to either back manager George Graham with cash for top quality signings, or quit the club.”
The angry fan? Some bloke called Mark Jacob. He's a lawyer you know...
Don't get me started...
I heard on Radio 4 this morning that Gordon Brown's Government is planning to give away free laptops to low-income families.
I was fascinated.
According to the report I've just checked out: "More than 270,000 free laptops with broadband will be given away to low income familes under a new Government scheme."
How lucky for them. My wife and I both work full-time yet only last week I was contemplating cancelling my broadband because we were trying to trim costs and there seemed little point having something that our six-year-old computer struggled to cope with.
The only reason for keeping it was that my wife and our two boys need it to access information from work, school and college. Apparently her work, and their school and college all rely on people having an internet connection at home. So what happens if you don't?
Does she get fired for not having access to emails? Are they kicked out of school for not being able to download their course notes? Probably not, but I don't see either the schools or places of employment offering to pay to keep them connected.
Thankfully, of course, we could now give up our jobs and get a free laptop and broadband, but we'd have no jobs with which to maintain connectivity.
I'm all in favour of helping low-income families, but shouldn't the help be offered in a more prosaic manner, rather than in the form of what really should be considered a luxury item?
Next thing we'll be hearing that as they struggle to get to job interviews they'll all be supplied with a 4x4.
The Labour party should remember the premise behind its formation. Admittedly there are a lot of low-income families at work, or wanting to work, but there are also a lot of people who simply can't be arsed. Why should they get the chance to watch an unbuffered BBC iplayer when I don't...?
I was fascinated.
According to the report I've just checked out: "More than 270,000 free laptops with broadband will be given away to low income familes under a new Government scheme."
How lucky for them. My wife and I both work full-time yet only last week I was contemplating cancelling my broadband because we were trying to trim costs and there seemed little point having something that our six-year-old computer struggled to cope with.
The only reason for keeping it was that my wife and our two boys need it to access information from work, school and college. Apparently her work, and their school and college all rely on people having an internet connection at home. So what happens if you don't?
Does she get fired for not having access to emails? Are they kicked out of school for not being able to download their course notes? Probably not, but I don't see either the schools or places of employment offering to pay to keep them connected.
Thankfully, of course, we could now give up our jobs and get a free laptop and broadband, but we'd have no jobs with which to maintain connectivity.
I'm all in favour of helping low-income families, but shouldn't the help be offered in a more prosaic manner, rather than in the form of what really should be considered a luxury item?
Next thing we'll be hearing that as they struggle to get to job interviews they'll all be supplied with a 4x4.
The Labour party should remember the premise behind its formation. Admittedly there are a lot of low-income families at work, or wanting to work, but there are also a lot of people who simply can't be arsed. Why should they get the chance to watch an unbuffered BBC iplayer when I don't...?
Friday, January 08, 2010
Wake me up before you grit
From the Portsmouth News.
She said: 'The snow started coming down at Hindhead and then as soon as we got to Petersfield, it was like "wham", nobody was moving. It was scary.'
That Andrew Ridgely always was a lazy bugger, but I'm disappointed in George...
She said: 'The snow started coming down at Hindhead and then as soon as we got to Petersfield, it was like "wham", nobody was moving. It was scary.'
That Andrew Ridgely always was a lazy bugger, but I'm disappointed in George...
Thursday, January 07, 2010
Isn't it ironic? (copyright Alanis Morissette)
I see the PFA's Nick Cusack has accused Pompey of "damaging the integrity of football..."
Do you think in the early 1940s in Berlin, somebody spoke out against Adolf Hitler, suggesting he was damaging the credibility of Nazis?
It's hard to damage credibility when there is so little to start with.
Do you think in the early 1940s in Berlin, somebody spoke out against Adolf Hitler, suggesting he was damaging the credibility of Nazis?
It's hard to damage credibility when there is so little to start with.
Down to the bare bones (copyright H Redknapp)
Sounds like Pompey have already sold off most of their highly-paid squad if this intro from today's ESPN soccer blog is anything to go by...
"It is becoming such a frequent occurrence that the average football fan is in danger of becoming desensitised to the news that Portsmouth have once again failed to pay their player."
"It is becoming such a frequent occurrence that the average football fan is in danger of becoming desensitised to the news that Portsmouth have once again failed to pay their player."
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Anybody got a chopper?
If you've seen any tv news or listened to the radio this morning, you can't help but notice that my home town of Petersfield is currently the centre of the snowbound universe.
We haven't had this much attention since the plane crash, our last murder or the time a young woman's body was found by the side of the A3. Hopefully this won't have the same consequences as any of those.
One of the parents from our youngest's football team has been stuck on the A3 at the Ham Barn roundabout for nearly six hours and has featured on both radio and tv. What a media whore!
I spoke to him just now and, not surprisingly, he sounds really tired. He finished work at Heathrow at 1am and should really be in a deep slumber by now.
His only request was that if somebody could airlift him a bacon sarnie it would be very much appreciated. Good luck Andy.
We haven't had this much attention since the plane crash, our last murder or the time a young woman's body was found by the side of the A3. Hopefully this won't have the same consequences as any of those.
One of the parents from our youngest's football team has been stuck on the A3 at the Ham Barn roundabout for nearly six hours and has featured on both radio and tv. What a media whore!
I spoke to him just now and, not surprisingly, he sounds really tired. He finished work at Heathrow at 1am and should really be in a deep slumber by now.
His only request was that if somebody could airlift him a bacon sarnie it would be very much appreciated. Good luck Andy.
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Enough Tiger hunting already...
I like to think I keep up with the news but it would appear that during my hibernation period between Christmas and new year, the world's number one golfer was revealed as having locked up a young girl in his cellar for three years, forced her to have his children and then ritually diembowelled them all.
Or is it just that Tiger Woods' serial philandering has driven the commercial world into a moral frenzy?
The latest commercial entities to distance themselves from Woods include AT&T and Golf Digest, which has, and I quote a news report, 'pulled Woods' column' - "they weren't the first," insisted a colleague, before nipping off round the back of the bike shed to have a quick fag.
Surely enough is enough? The bloke's been a pillock, a knob, a complete b*****d if you insist - but he hasn't killed anybody. Why are people treating him as a moral leper?
Many other high-profile figures have done far worse and received far less condemnation.
Some have retained their advertising deals and continue to prosper.
Nobody has a higher profile in this country - apart maybe from those funny-haired twins on X Factor or Susan Boyle - than the royal family. Both the Prince of Wales and Princess Di had affairs - one will still be king and the other will 'always be the Queen of hearts' according to royalists.
David Beckham admitted to an affair - the country still loves him. There are constant rumours of the serial philanderings of more than one well-respected tv presenter, yet contracts still come their way despite their employers knowing of their dalliances.
Let's draw a veil over it now. Tiger Woods slept around OK? He's been a fool. He's not to be trusted when it comes to women. But he's no Warren Beatty - not yet, anyway.
But he is a fantastic golfer and for those of us who enjoy golf, he will be sorely missed all the time he has to go into hiding while this media circus ("Woohoo circus!" - Homer Simpson) continues.
Let's get on with our lives and allow the Woodses to get on with theirs, whether together or apart. There must be something else about which we can get on our soapbox. Doesn't that ice-dancing crap on ITV start again soon...?
Or is it just that Tiger Woods' serial philandering has driven the commercial world into a moral frenzy?
The latest commercial entities to distance themselves from Woods include AT&T and Golf Digest, which has, and I quote a news report, 'pulled Woods' column' - "they weren't the first," insisted a colleague, before nipping off round the back of the bike shed to have a quick fag.
Surely enough is enough? The bloke's been a pillock, a knob, a complete b*****d if you insist - but he hasn't killed anybody. Why are people treating him as a moral leper?
Many other high-profile figures have done far worse and received far less condemnation.
Some have retained their advertising deals and continue to prosper.
Nobody has a higher profile in this country - apart maybe from those funny-haired twins on X Factor or Susan Boyle - than the royal family. Both the Prince of Wales and Princess Di had affairs - one will still be king and the other will 'always be the Queen of hearts' according to royalists.
David Beckham admitted to an affair - the country still loves him. There are constant rumours of the serial philanderings of more than one well-respected tv presenter, yet contracts still come their way despite their employers knowing of their dalliances.
Let's draw a veil over it now. Tiger Woods slept around OK? He's been a fool. He's not to be trusted when it comes to women. But he's no Warren Beatty - not yet, anyway.
But he is a fantastic golfer and for those of us who enjoy golf, he will be sorely missed all the time he has to go into hiding while this media circus ("Woohoo circus!" - Homer Simpson) continues.
Let's get on with our lives and allow the Woodses to get on with theirs, whether together or apart. There must be something else about which we can get on our soapbox. Doesn't that ice-dancing crap on ITV start again soon...?
Friday, January 01, 2010
It's my own pleasure I'm ruining
I enjoyed Wednesday's BBC dramatisation of Henry James' Turning of the Screw, but admit to failing to take it seriously from early on.
Despite the enjoyable production I ruined it for myself during the scene where the governess went to meet young Miles at the station.
As the steam and smoke cleared to reveal young Miles resplendent in his school uniform complete with a top hat atop a shock of bright blond hair, I said out loud: "Blimey, it's a young Boris Johnson."
From that moment on, any scene that featured 'young Boris' was tainted by me adding my own words in an admittedly appalling impression of the likeable buffoon.
Happy new year by the way...
Despite the enjoyable production I ruined it for myself during the scene where the governess went to meet young Miles at the station.
As the steam and smoke cleared to reveal young Miles resplendent in his school uniform complete with a top hat atop a shock of bright blond hair, I said out loud: "Blimey, it's a young Boris Johnson."
From that moment on, any scene that featured 'young Boris' was tainted by me adding my own words in an admittedly appalling impression of the likeable buffoon.
Happy new year by the way...
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