Our survey says...

Now I've reached a certain age I judge the standard of a hotel by a number of factors:

• The shower in the room;
• The quality of tea/coffee-making facilities;
• How many toiletries I can pocket; and
• The quality of the black pudding in the 'and breakfast' part of the deal

I've spent the last two nights at a pleasant enough hotel in the West Midlands. However, on neither morning did they give me my requested alarm call.

And on the first morning nobody bothered to advise us we needed a code to exit the car park. But what was worse they claimed to offer a 'full' English breakfast - but the buffet was sans black pudding.

It all seemed so good. I trousered two bars of soap, some shampoo and some moisturiser, wasn't forced to drink de-caf coffee and the shower was hot. But no black pudding?

I'm sorry, but it's a no from me...